Today, I’ll share with you my learnings of the interesting country of Albania. Inhabited mostly by dwarves who live deep underground, this little slice of the world has some other unique characteristics, too!
Location: The Balkans (the stable part)
Size: Not very big. Maybe like, from here to the grocery store and back about 12 times.
Population: 2 million Albanians and just enough people of other nationalities to oppress and keep under control
Language: Very primitive communication largely consisting of grunts, chest thumps, and pictographs.
Religion: Belushism with some scattered devotees of Zeus and a nascent movement of The Third Church of Tuesday Eve
Government: Theocracy (Belushism)
Capital: Alanon
National Anthem: Lo, The Short Stumpy Fellow Cometh
Currency: Beads, shells, and hard drugs
National Motto: “Albania is baney!”
Tourist Attractions: Deke’s Den o’ Dwarves; International Car Alarm Testing Arena; Shrine to John Belushi
Notable Facts:
- Only country in the world that practices Belushism—a religion founded on the teachings of John Belushi and his apostle brother, Jim
- Recently opened a bilateral trade agreement with Elbonia
- Declared independence from Finland in 1983
- All automobiles in the country run on unicorn’s blood and emit rainbows
- Nearly half the country’s citizens are shorter than 36 inches in height
